Makeup & Male-Centered Politics

“I like women natural — no makeup, no nails, nothing.”

Two weeks into talking, he sent this in a text
as if it were a gift I didn’t ask for.

Succinctly, I was triggered.

I’ve noticed this pattern before.

Men often make a point of telling me they prefer women “natural” —
somehow after being drawn to me
while I’m presenting exactly the opposite.

Truly, if that’s your preference…
what are you doing here?

Without exaggeration, there are at least fifteen reasons I keep my nails done.

I’d list them if they were anyone’s business but mine.

But I’ll say this —
male approval is not one of them.

I’m tired of the covert patriarchy in dating.

Especially where it persists in the spiritual community.

Stating a preference to someone who clearly doesn’t match it is a subtle attempt at control.

When a man says this to a woman,
that’s the patriarchal sprout.

The stem is entitlement.

The root is the belief
that a woman’s appearance is inherently performative —
and meant for a male audience.

At this point, I get it.

Most men — especially spiritual men —
want the type of goddess
with soil under her nails
and twigs in her hair.

She’s beautiful.

But that’s not my archetype.

Funny enough,
that woman loves my nails.

She loves when I turn my face into a canvas —
The shadows, colors, and metallics
I use to shape-shift.

For the men who don’t like makeup,
maybe you just didn’t grow up playing with Barbies or pretending to be princesses.

And for the subset who see makeup as deception,
maybe you just weren’t given the experiential vocabulary to see it as art.

The contrast shows me something about myself:

I love things that delight
and resonate with other women.

Beauty rituals.

Creative expression.

Women affirming other women.

These are the gifts of my feminine embodiment.

And representing them
is the only “natural” that matters to me.